Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said, “The best amongst you are those who are best towards their wives, and I am the best to my wives” (Tirmizi#4651).

Entering and leaving the home:

  1. When leaving home in the morning, make a point of not leaving without making salaam.
  2. When entering the home, always make salaam cheerfully, no matter how difficult your day may have been. Salaam is a means of engendering great love and happiness in the home. Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) advised Anas (radiyallahu anhu) thus: “Oh my son! When you enter your home, make salaam to your family. It will be a means of blessings for you and for them” (Tirmizi #2698).

General conduct:

  1. Live with her and speak to her in the manner that you would want someone to treat your own sister or daughter.
  2. Implement the beautiful sunnah of smiling. Smile more and frown less. This virtuous act of smiling should not be expressed outside to strangers only, rather to one’s own wife also. Smiling is an act of charity.
  3. Create such a loving presence at home that your family members look forward to see you, they should not be dreading your return or hoping that you never come home.
  4. Express your love to your wife often and make her feel wanted.
  5. Laugh and joke with her within the limits of sharee’ah. Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) used to engage in light-hearted conversation with his wives.
  6. Endeavour to eat and drink from the same utensil. Sometimes place a morsel of food in each other’s mouth (not only to be practiced when newly-wed). This will increase mutual love and one will be rewarded for this.
  7. Spend quality time with your wife and children. The time spent with them is an act of ‘ibaadat (worship). Apart from religious activities and necessary business activities, devote yourself to your family. Insha-Allah, it will reap excellent dividends.
  8. Share in the upkeep and maintenance of the home. Doing household chores is a sunnah of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) that breeds humility and displays compassion and kindness. Examples of this are cleaning, sweeping, laying the food-cloth, looking after the children, etc.
  9. Control your tongue at all times. Remember that wounds afflicted by swords may heal, but the wounds afflicted by the tongue very seldom heal.
  10. Avoid raising your voice and NEVER yell at your wife.
  11. Regard your wife’s parents as your own, address them politely, and treat them kindly as you would treat your own parents. Accord them the same respect and honour as your own parents.