Q&A: Husband Chatting


Wednesday, 10 April 2013 07:08

Question: My husband has many female contacts on Facebook, BBM, and Twitter. He is often on the phone till past mid-night. Once I happened to see the content on his phone, including some smses to women he was flirting with. Ever since, he has locked his phone with a password. I am extremely hurt and becoming despondent. Please advise what I should do? (Question summarized)

Answer: Your situation is indeed tragic and heartbreaking. Chatting with non-mahram females is also a form of zina. Every form of zina is a serious and major sin. Allah Ta’ala declares “And do not go close to zina, verily it is immoral and a path of deviation.” May Allah Ta’ala grant your husband hidayat and enable him to totally refrain from these haraam acts.

You obviously wish to resolve the issue in such a manner that your marriage is not destroyed. If you confront him directly on the issue, due to the “intoxication” of the haraam he is involved in, he may react in a way that may break the marriage. An intoxicated person is not able to think logically. He cannot see the glaring harm and destruction in the evil that he is engaged in. He cannot see the tears of those crying around him. He is oblivious to the pain and trauma that his family is suffering due to his actions. Immoral and illicit activities of any sort gradually intoxicate a person more than alcohol and drugs. He then sinks into such foolish and reckless behaviour which he too will later deeply regret, but by then it will be too late to undo the damage. May Allah Ta’ala keeps one and all in His protection.


Therefore the only real solution is to develop the consciousness of Allah Ta’ala in his heart. Daily for at least ten minutes read the book Fazaaile-A’amaal with the family. Encourage him to participate in the efforts of Deen and to join the company of the pious. Also create an atmosphere of Deen at home. Ensure that salaah is performed on time, everyone in the family is reciting the Quraan Shareef, engaging in the recitation of tasbheehaat and zikr, etc. It is also extremely important to daily engage in dua with great humility and very earnestly.

Together with the above, it is vitally important to remove all the tools of vice from the home, such as the T.V., videos, music, magazines, etc.  May Allah Ta’ala guide us all to the straight path and save us from the path of following haraam desires and destruction.  Aameen.