Faqeehul Ummah: The Nurturing of Children


Thursday, 15 December 2016 06:16

Summary of Letter

I have taught my children salaah and Quraan majeed. Thereafter they pursued secular education. I allowed them to acquire more worldly education in the hope that they may progress materially. Now I am concerned as to what answer I will give to Allah Ta‘ala. One son is a Haafiz, but he as well as my other children refuse to listen to me. My heart remains extremely troubled and distressed. At times, I feel that I should leave my home and go away somewhere. What should I now do to save myself from any punishment in the Hereafter for the mistakes I have made in the educating and upbringing of my children?

Summary of Reply:

Bismihi Ta‘ala

Respected Brother/Sister:

Assalamu ‘Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh

The syllabus that is taught to our children as well as the environment has a definite effect on them. Some are affected more than others. On some, the effect is immediate while on others, it is gradual. Often, the effect of secular education and the environment reduces or completely erases all previous positive effects. If a person is placed in a new (secular) environment while the effects of salaah and Quraan Majeed have not yet been firmly rooted in him, then these effects tend to fade away and this causes a great amount of distress. Therefore, in the future, do not be neglectful with regard to the upbringing of your children. You should give them the books of the pious elders to read. With due importance, you should take them with you to the gatherings of the friends of Allah Ta‘ala. Allow them to be in the company of the pious. During their holidays, send them out in the path of Allah Ta‘ala. Insha-Allah their time spent in tableegh (imparting Deen) will be beneficial for them. You should continue making du‘aa for them. As far as you leaving the home and going elsewhere, there is no benefit in this for you nor for the children.  (Maktoobaat vol. 1, pg. 117)