Q&A: “Please Leave me at Home”

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Q: Every year, my parents take us overseas for the holidays. I know they wish well and want us to have a nice time. The problem is that the resorts and places that we visit are full of sin. Whether it’s the beach, malls or any other place, it becomes extremely difficult for me to avoid the music, control my gaze, etc. My uncle’s family also comes with us. His daughters don’t observe purdah and expect me to speak to them. During these holidays, my Imaan becomes very weak and I become prone to many major sins. My parents are insisting that I have to go along. What should I do?

A: Alhamdulillah, it is a very great favour of Allah Ta‘ala that He inspired your heart with the concern of protecting your greatest and most valuable asset of imaan. All the wealth of the world is not even equal to a speck of dust compared to the treasure of imaan. Unfortunately, many Muslims take this priceless treasure for granted and, either due to ignorance or due to being in a state of denial, do not bother about what  harm they are subjecting their imaan and the imaan of their children to.  May Allah Ta‘ala grant us all the correct understanding and grant us the ability to refrain from anything that will negatively affect our imaan. 

As for your dilemma with your parents, firstly bear in mind that you should always be kind, caring and very respectful towards them. Never talk to them abruptly or rudely. Always serve them as best as you can. Nevertheless, the first and greatest priority is to respect Allah Ta‘ala by respecting His laws and respecting the most noble way of His Rasul (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam). Therefore, in a nice respectful way, do your utmost to convince them that you cannot accompany them to such venues where your Imaan is going to be seriously battered and bruised. Tell them that you will go in Jamaat and spend your time correctly there. Get someone to talk to them. Use the skill that all youngsters possess to get their way with their parents. Use that skill to get “out of the way” of going to places that are toxic for your Imaan. Plead with them, appeal to them… and cry if you have to. Most of all, engage in much istighfaar and earnest du‘aa. Beg of Allah Ta‘ala to protect you from every vice and guide you and your family to His pleasure at all times.

Advice to Parents

The question above is not unique. May Allah Ta‘ala bless all such young people and keep them steadfast. In this time of vice, when people are “competing” in sinning, how wonderful it is to have such youth who swim against the tsunamis of peer pressure and even family pressure in order to earn the pleasure of Allah Ta‘ala. It is perhaps through the blessing of their sacrifices that we have been saved from many calamities.

Tragically, in the frenzy of “fun” which captures almost everyone during the so called “silly season”, many parents are unconcerned of the impact their manner of holidaying and entertainment is having on the imaan of their children. The environment at this time of the year in most “holiday” venues is charged with nudity, extreme immorality and a host of other evils. Children are constantly bombarded with exposure to almost every vice. This constant exposure severely weakens their imaan, and with the slightest nudge from Shaitaan, they fall headlong into some of the vices themselves.  

Many young people have reached out for help to various ‘Ulama and social workers. They are battling with drug addiction, involvement in zina, drinking, gambling, etc. Many have confided that these vices “sparked off” while on holiday. Those who avoided the evils above still complained of being totally spiritually drained due to constant involvement in zina of the eyes on the beaches and other holiday venues. Hence, there was no drive to even perform salaah and the inclination towards sin had become very strong. Is this really “wishing well” for our children?

Let us guide our children towards becoming true slaves of Allah Ta‘ala. We are all heading towards the grave… and we could be lying there much sooner than we think. Let us work hard to secure our and their “holiday” in the grave and the non-stop entertainment in Jannah, which is awaiting those who sacrificed the impermissible, superficial fun and entertainment of this world for the true and everlasting bliss of the Hereafter.

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