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Advice to Wives - Part 3

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Dont’s:

  1. dont_1Do not disclose your husband's secrets or faults to other family members or friends. Always conceal one another's faults. It is a major sin to discuss one’s intimate relationship with one’s spouse with others. Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: “One of the worst people in the sight of Allah Ta’ala on the day of Qiyaamah is a man who was intimate with his wife and thereafter he publicizes it” (Muslim #3542).
  2. Never compare nor mention the handsomeness, character, wealth or generosity of other men to your husband. This is extremely insensitive and may cause jealousy, suspicion and unnecessary doubts in his mind. Accept your husband for what he is and do not cast lustful glances at other men. By doing so, you will lose the love of your husband and by controlling your gaze, your love for your husband will increase and you will attain the sweetness of imaan.
  3. Do not mingle with or speak to strange men. This will severely harm your marriage. Never allow any strange man to enter your house in the absence of your husband, no matter how well you or your husband know him. NB: Strange (ghayr-mahram) in the sharee’ah refers to all people with whom marriage is permissible in Islam. Included among them are cousins, brothers-in-laws, parent's sister's spouses, father and mother-in-law's brothers, etc. Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: “The male relatives of the husband are death (in other words, just as one fears death, one should fear fitnah, mischief, and corruption from the husband’s male relatives)” (Bukhari #5232). There are many cases where an illicit relationship was established in family circles. The consequences of not upholding the laws of hijaab, especially between a woman and her husband’s male relatives, are disastrous. Never trust the carnal-self.
  4. Do not keep in touch or communicate with any male acquaintances from the past, even if they are ‘just good friends’. This is forbidden and is also extremely detrimental to the marriage.
  5. Avoid raising your voice and NEVER yell at your husband, especially in public. You will hurt his ego. Do not become his mouthpiece. If he is asked a question, let him answer it himself. Do not make decisions for him, nor interrupt his discussions.
  6. Never demand back any gift given to your spouse, even if the marriage ends in divorce. It is totally forbidden to repossess gifts given at the time of marriage or at any other time.
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