Hazrat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi (rahmatullahi ‘alaih) once mentioned the following:
In today’s times, people’s notion of good character is that one should conduct with people with good character and show them a good face, even though one’s heart is not clear regarding them (i.e. regarding some of their ways or conduct in certain affairs).
However, I am unable to understand how people can regard this to be good character – where one’s heart is unclear, but one’s tongue expresses something else. Instead, I feel that in such a situation, I should rather discuss the issue with the person so that the matter becomes clear and my heart is cleansed of any misgivings. It is good for one to do so, in order that one’s heart and mind becomes clear and the love (and friendship) which was previously enjoyed can once again be restored.
If a person’s kurtah becomes dirty, then one option is for him to wear another clean kurtah above the dirty kurtah. However, another option is for him to send the dirty kurtah to the laundry man who will wash and scrub the kurtah until it becomes clean, (and thereafter he should wear the clean kurtah). Now compare the two approaches and see which one is better. According to us, the second approach is definitely better.
(Malfoozaat Hakeemul Ummat 23/328)