Advice for a Wife

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Summary of Letter:

باسمه تعالى
Respected Mufti Saheb
السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

The letter below was a request for advice with regards to a personal problem. Due to the great number of such letters received, this letter is being published for general benefit.

... I am now living with my in-laws and life has become very difficult. My husband is very unfair to me. He cares more for his mother and sisters while I get the ‘back seat’ for everything. I am treated like dirt while he thinks the world of them. My husband has now decided to go for Umrah and intends to take his mother and sisters along but does not intend taking me with him.... 


Summary of Reply:

باسمه تعالى
Respected Brother/Sister
السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

 

A wife generally has such intense love for her husband that she always tends to regard her husband’s love for her as deficient and lacking. She remains under the misconception that the husband has no feelings for her whereas in reality the husband has great love for his wife. However, the wife's intense love demands that the husband’s affection and love for his mother, sisters, friends, etc. should also be directed towards her. Nevertheless I make Dua to Allah Ta’ala that He make your husband most loving towards you and enable him to fulfil your rights.

Whatever difficulties you experience from your husband, regard it as a means of the forgiveness of your sins. By exercising patience you will gain the nearness of Allah Ta’ala.

Whoever your husband wishes to take for Umrah, he will also receive the full reward of their Umrah. Despite having the desire to accompany him, by adopting sabr (if he does not take you along) you will also receive the full reward of your husbands Ibadah as well as a separate reward for exercising patience.

May Allah Ta’ala instill complete love between you and your husband. 

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