Salm bin Qutaybah al-Baahili (rahimahullah) had an argument with his cousin. He pursued the case until it reached the court. While sitting there waiting for his case to be presided over, Basheer bin ‘Ubaidillah (rahimahullah) met him and enquired: “Why are you sitting here?” He replied: “Because of an argument between my cousin and me. He has made some claims against me in my property.” Basheer said to him: “Your father has been very kind to me and I would like to return this favour to you. (Listen to my advice): I have not seen anything more destructive to one’s religion, more humiliating, more distasteful and more stressful on the heart than arguments.”

On hearing this, Salm stood up to go away from there. His opponent said to him: “What has happened to you?” He replied: “I do not want to argue with you anymore.” He said: “Have you now realized that the truth is in my favour?” Salm replied: “No. Rather, I am protecting my honour from this.” Upon hearing this, his opponent said: “I am dropping all my claims. The property belongs to you.” (Kitaabus Samt wa Aadaabil Lisaan #158)

Lesson: The end result of the one who forgoes his rights in order to avoid a confrontation is far better than the one who takes revenge for himself and returns evil with evil. Forbearing and relenting creates a unique tranquillity in the heart and peace in the mind which is much more enjoyable than the “thrill” of winning an argument or a court case. Apart from this, often Allah Ta‘ala blesses this person with something far better in this world together with the unimaginable rewards that are in store for him in the Hereafter.