Summary of Letter:
Respected Mufti Saheb
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh
I often remember my past sins and try to cry but my heart is so hard that I cannot ever cry. Please help me to remedy the situation.
Summary of Reply:
Respected Brother / Sister
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh
Merely recalling what sins one committed is not sufficient. Sometimes the recalling of one’s sins become the means of recommitting the sin, without one ever realising that remembering the sin was the means.
Instead, it is necessary to imagine that on the day of reasoning when one’s actions will be displayed before everyone, what a disgrace it will be. Every action that one has committed is recorded in one’s book of deeds. The perpetrator himself will be made to read out his deeds. One should therefore ponder: “Those actions which I committed in secret and regarded it as a great shame if it were exposed in front of people, how will I manage to personally read out those actions to Allah I, the all-knowing? “if one wishes to be saved from this server punishment, one should be concerned about trying to remove those disgraceful actions from one’s book of deeds. The sincere tears of repentance in solitude are the “rubber” that will wipe out the evil deeds. May Allah I grant us such tears that washes away our sins (Maktoobat, Vol. 4 Pg.130)
In short, it is fundamentally important when recalling one’s past actions that it be done in the concept of giving an account of one’s deeds on the day of Qiyamah (Judgement). (Maktoobaat)