Summary of Letter:

Bismihi Ta’ala

Respected Mufti Saheb

Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh

As Salaamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatuh
I have a serious problem. I am often very harsh and severe upon my wife to the extent that I sometimes even assault her. Please help me to overcome this malady.

Summary of Reply:

Bismihi Ta’ala

Respected Brother / Sister

Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh

The cure for your malady is very clear and evident. Simply, do not treat your wife in a harsh manner. Rather adopt a soft and affectionate manner with her. Whenever you are angered, ponder for a moment that you have also defaulted greatly with regard to the commands of Allah Ta’ala. If Allah Ta’ala becomes angry with you over your faults, what will be your condition? If you forgive this weak servant of Allah Ta’ala (your wife), Allah Ta’ala will also insha-Allah forgive you. If you refuse to forgive her, on what basis can you hope for the forgiveness of Allah Ta’ala? Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) is reported to have said: “Be merciful upon the people of the earth, the One above (Allah Ta’ala) will be merciful upon you” (Nasai).   (Tarbiyatut Taalibeen, pg.203)

Summary of Letter:

 Bismihi Ta’ala

Respected Mufti Saheb

Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh

My wife is extremely disobedient and is forever quarrelling and fighting with my family members. I have tried much to reason with her, but to no avail. Hence I am in a severe predicament. Please advise me of how to overcome this problem.

 Summary of Reply:
 Bismihi Ta’ala

Respected Brother / Sister

Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh

I was very perturbed by your predicament. Habits which have become embedded are difficult to forsake. You will have to exercise patience and tolerance. Since you are not happy about her utterances and deeds and continue to advise her to mend her ways, the sin of her actions is not upon you. Nevertheless, daily after Esha Salaah recite the following 200 times:

يَا مُقَلِّبَ الْقُلُوْبِ وَالْأَبْصَارِ يَا خَالِقَ اللَّيْلِ وَالنَّهَارِ يَا عَزِيْزُ يَا لَطِيْفُ يَا غَفَّارُ

Recite Durood Shareef 11 times before and after. Insha-Allah, Allah Ta’ala will ease your predicament. (Maktoobaat vol. 1, pg. 43)

(Note: The effect of the above prescription will become evident if, together with fulfilling it, one is punctual upon all the injunctions of Deen and one refrains from sins — Translator.)