Summary of Letter:
Respected Mufti Saheb
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh
(The question was not published. The questioner apparently enquired that if two parties have been in a dispute and now wish to reconcile what is the manner of achieving peace and reconciliation between them.)
Summary of Reply:
Respected Brother / Sister
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh
If two people have been in a dispute and wish to reconcile the following is necessary:
Firstly, both parties must genuinely feel that “I too have erred and trampled the rights of the next person. Trampling the next person’s rights is against the commands of Allah Ta`ala and His Rasul (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) while the punishment for such actions is very severe.” After having realised the above, one should sincerely regret having trampled the rights of the next person. One must also be fully prepared to compensate for one’s actions, irrespective of whatever sacrifices one has to make for this.
MINDSET AND ATTITUDE
If both parties attempt to reconcile with the above mindset and attitude, the musaalahah (reconciliation) will indeed be a musaalahah by means of which disputes are resolved and the mercy of Allah Ta’ala descends. However, if this mindset is absent and the attempt to reconcile is due to some external pressure — for instance some worldly incentive has been offered to make peace, or it is due to some threat, or to avoid disgrace and public humiliation — such musaalahah (reconciliation) will become mukhada’ah (deception). Each party will try to deceive the other. Hence, the root of the problem will not be eradicated. Instead, it will become even more firmly embedded in the hearts. The end result of this is obvious (that it will result in an escalation of disputes rather than resolution). (Malfoozaat, Vol 7, Pg 58)