Hazrat Moulana Muhammad Ilyaas (rahmatullahi ‘alaih) once mentioned:
When taking Deeni benefit and guidance from our Deeni elders, then it is necessary for us to keep our relationship with them solely for the sake of Allah Ta‘ala. We should look closely at their statements, actions and the way they conduct, and emulate them in these aspects.
We should not probe into their personal and domestic lives to see how they conduct with their families (as this does not relate to us). Rather, we should remain completely unconcerned in regard to these matters.
The reason is that it is natural for a person to be informal when interacting with his family (and for a stranger to be concerned about the personal affairs of another person is against the teachings of Deen. Furthermore, looking at the Deeni elder being informal with his family could lead to one not maintaining the level of respect he ought to show him).
Apart from this, it is inevitable that every person has some shortcomings in his life. Hence, if a person focuses on the shortcomings of the Deeni elder, then it is possible that one will wish to emulate him in that. At times, through looking at the Deeni elder’s shortcomings in his personal life, one may even begin to have objections in one’s heart against him which will thereafter become a cause for one being deprived of benefiting from him.
It is for this reason that the kitaabs of the mashaayikh have emphasized that the person treading the path of self-reformation should not probe into the personal and domestic life of the shaikh.
(Malfoozaat Hazrat Moulana Muhammad Ilyaas [rahmatullahi ‘alaih] pg. 72)
Source: Ihyaauddeen.co.za