SUMMARY OF LETTER:
Bismihi Ta’ala
Respected Mufti Saheb
As Salaamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatuh
I performed Salaatut Tawba and sincerely repented from all my sins. Nevertheless, whenever I make sincere Tawba, I become conscious of Allah Ta’ala for a few days. Then suddenly I find myself inclined to sin even more than previous times. As a result my Tawba breaks (ie. I resort to the sin).
SUMMARY OF REPLY:
Bismihi Ta’ala
Respected Brother
As Salaamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatuh
The fact that you become conscious of Allah Ta’ala for a few days after performing Salaatut Tawba is itself a great bounty. Be grateful for this. Allah Ta’ala declares: “If you are grateful I will increase my bounties upon you.” After a few days to once again become inclined to sin is like a person who fasted for the entire day and by the end of the day he felt extremely thirsty. As a result he gulps down the water.
Since you become conscious of Allah Ta’ala for a few days after Salaatut Tawba, with utmost devotion perform Salaatut Tawba daily. May Allah Ta’ala assist you. (Tarbiyatut Talibeen, pg.137)